Balance Health Managing Self Wellness

Getting the most out of the holiday

Written by Allison Wolf

I completed a big project today.
A second will be completed tomorrow.
Many holiday cards have been sent out.

And not everything is done.
Some people I am out of touch with.
Some meetings didn’t get held this month.
One deadline will be delayed.

And it’s ok.

And I’m ok with this.

As kids we learn early on to be hard on ourselves. When something doesn’t go well, when we mess up, make mistakes, there were often corrections, punishments, poor grades. We learn to internalize this scolding voice and to turn it on ourselves.

You should have…
Why didn’t you…
What’s wrong with you…

What I have learned is that the most important forgiveness, and often the hardest to achieve, is to forgive ourselves.

This holiday season join me in lightening up, giving yourself some slack, treating yourself as you would a dear friend.

My favourite coach Martha Beck wrote on her blog this month:

“The Elur Nedlog is the Golden Rule spelled backwards. Where the Golden Rule says, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you,” the Elur Nedlog says, “Don’t do unto yourself anything you wouldn’t do unto someone else.” I think the sentiment has to run both ways. That’s just math.”

So this holiday give yourself some of what you need. And treat yourself as you would a dear friend.

If that means skipping a party because you’d rather stay home in your pyjamas and binge watch Netflix, do it.

If that means letting some emails stay unanswered for some days or a week, so be it.

If that means that some balls get dropped, that is quite ok.

And if that means my dogs only get a short walk on the really cold days, well there’s a big cookie for them instead.

Wishing you some quality relaxation time this Holiday Season!


About the author

Allison Wolf

I am the founder of AWAL and one of the most senior coaches for lawyers in North America. I have helped countless clients over the past fifteen years, develop thriving legal practices and before that served as director of marketing for award-winning law firms. My specialty is uncovering the thinking traps and gaps holding clients back and helping them acquire the mindsets, skills, and habits for growing successful and rewarding legal careers. After a career in legal marketing and business development with law firms in Beijing, New York, and Vancouver, I was trained as a coach in 2004 at Royal Roads University and now coach clients from across North America. You can reach me at or learn more about my coaching practice from the coaching section of the Attorney With A Life Website.

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