Have you de-railed in your tracks recently?
You were going along just fine and then WHAMO!
Despite all your good intentions, rigorous goal setting and solid commitment, you found yourself back to where you did not wish to be.
Unwittingly perhaps, you got caught up, enmeshed in some old behavior patterns that stopped serving you long ago.
Or perhaps there have just been shades of disappointment, disillusionment and burn out and you lost focus and got discouraged.
Or, presented with the same old contextual pulls (friends, environment, old temptations) before you realized, you were back doing things and being a certain way that is not the most optimum for you and others.
In the leadership journey or indeed life, this is a very common human scenario.
Whatever your situation — be it work or home, here are eight helpful actions you can take immediately to get back on track.
Your eight keys to getting back on deck:
1) Responsibility — Acknowledge that emotions like frustration, anger, sadness, a sense of failure, stuckness are all natural and common human reactions. Our feelings and emotions add to the rich texture that life is. The key is to not act out these negative emotions on others and give away your sense of power and control to change.
Notice, acknowledge and take responsibility for what has happened.
It might feel easier to blame other and circumstances but what is going to give you leverage is asking yourself this question, “What was my part in creating or contributing to this scenario?
2) Re-commit — Ask yourself, “Moving forward, what is my intention now?” And “What and who do I need to re-commit to?
Reflecting on the bigger picture or your vision will help fuel this.
3) Actions — Ask yourself, “Given the above what action do I now need to take now?” This may be a small immediate step along with some other more intermediate ones.
4) Boundaries — Often when we fall of the wagon, we have transgressed our own and sometimes others’ boundaries.
Sometimes others invade our boundaries and we let it happen and did not stop it when we could have.
Ask yourself, “What boundaries do I need to honour?”
5) Courageous communication — Check with yourself, “Is there someone I need to have a courageous conversation with?”
“What do I need to communicate to them and what is the best way of doing this?”
6) Support — Review who your support crew is.
Share you experience and commitment plan with them or at least one trusted other. A sense of safety and support is really important for us in feeling like we have our back covered.
7) Accountability — Stay accountable to yourself and the other person/people you have committed to.
As has been said, ‘It is not how often we fall off the horse that matters but that we get back on again!’
And, “Fall off seven, get up eight!
8) Kindness and gratitude — Often in times like this, we become our own worst enemy. Be gentle with yourself with loads of self-compassion.
Being human is being fallible. It just is.
Ask yourself, “How can I show this self-compassion and self-love…still?” and “What are all the things I am still grateful for?”
What other things have you found helpful? I look forward to your thoughts.